My Pirate, My Heroe
by Maggie-48
Summary: Captain Swan- First I love you s- Frozen heart and True Love Kiss- Season 4-
1. Chapter 1- I love you, Swan

MY PIRATE, MY HEROE- 1/4

Chapter 1- I love you, Swan

Note: CAPTAIN SWAN- I LOVE YOU-TRUE LOVE KISS- (S4) This is one of the possibles scenarios (on my head) of how the first I love you- and TLK could happen- hope you like it and enjoy!

Emma and Killian were sitting in the bank looking at the water- Its been a hard day for them, the whole Elsa- Ice Queen thing is driving them crazy, not to mention the Regina-Robin- Marian thing but not about the love triangle-just- but Regina becoming evil or not and there´s also Rumple´s dagger thing and Belle and the whole town drama- Gods! Never a day off!-

They dont even have much time to think about them, what they are doing- well they probably dont know but the feel and god! They feel- they are each other´s person and this, whatever you wanna call it- feels amazing , to finally finally be together, having a special someone-

-**Do you miss it?** She asks him, sad that with all this drama and chaos he might regret staying- NOT leaving her after all

- No, Swan- he answers, he does miss it (sometimes) but he knows her so well and he knows what she is really asking...

-Im where i want to be...I dont regret it

-Dont you? She is not sure if she wants to look into his-beautiful- eyes, affraid that find out that he might, just a little bit

-**No, this town is driving me-us crazy but somehow theres not other place i´d want to** **be- because you are here**- he looks at her and then looks aways, affraid that maybe this is too much for her

-She smiles and feels good-he always makes her feel good, for some reason he has that power on her- only a single look and she feels calm, safe, home –but only a single doubt in his face and she feels lost, scared, alone- he has such power and its terrifying

-Hook... i know you care and i care about you too but you need to know that this is my life, this is the Savior´s life- I dont get a day off, a lazy day and NOT much happy moments... If you want to leave... (god, please dont leave me) I- I would...understand- she looks down, breaking her own heart by saying this- Before its too late.

-He looks at her, she looks sad and it makes him so sad that she feels like this, and that she still doubts herself, them... thats she is still to affraid that its already late, theres not going back-

Before its too late?- Im sorry to break to you, Emma but it already is- there´s not going back from this- at least for me- i could not just leave and forget you- i tried that the year without you and i couldnt, now that its my choice i would never part from you, you are all that i want, that i need... Emma..

-Hook... Killian...

-I love you, Emma

I love you as i never thought i could love again and even more- i love every single part of you, i love who you are, who want to be , i love who you make me want to be, i love the savior, the lost girl, the princess, the strong and smart women, the mother, the daughter, the friend, the lover in you- even with your fears and your walls- i see all of you and I love you, I love Emma Swan.

- Killian, I... I –God, this is too much, he does she knows it and she is just in shock... and find the right words to explain what she feels

-He looks down and then away- Its okay, love, you dont need to say anything- i was not expecting you to... - He understands, he always understands but cant help being hurt, he wishes she could say it back and kiss him and hold him- he just opened his heart and still seems to much for her- damn Neal, damn flying monkey, damn destiny, damn past!- but he wont push, and he wont leave either-

They just stay there in silence , looking at the water for a moment...

-Killian, i... im not good at talking, about my feelings, its been so long—I ...I

Emma Hook! You need to come! Something has happened-someone yells (fuck! Always interrupting them)- They stand up, he is relief that she doesnt have to say anything because whatever is going to say, its not what he wants to heart and it just breaks his heart a little more-

She stops him- You know i care about you, and this whatever its –I i want it, it feels safe- she gives him a sweet smile, touches his face and gives him a little kiss- he smiles back but he is not happy, he cant be- he loves her so much and even now after telling her , he feels that maybe he will never be enough, she will never embrace (fully) what they have... just now he is so happy theres some new drama so he can stop thinking and feeling so broken.


	2. Chapter 2- FROZEN HEART

**Chapter 2- Frozen heart**

**Elsa is freaking out- You promised! You (she is talking to Emma , Killian and Snowing- but the rest of the people is around them as well) You promised me, you lied to me!-**

**-Elsa, calm down...we can explain, please you have to listen to us, to me – Emma tells her**

**- Why should i? I did and you lied!- you told me there was a way of going back, going home- I need to see my sister! I need to go to her- she is really angry and confused and her magic feels uncontrolable right now**

**-You should breath, calm down and listen, lass- you dont want to hurt anyone- Killian tells her trying to get closer**

**Emma grabs his arm- dont get closer, she is upset-she tells him and he nods**

**Elsa, we are friends, i understand what you need and we want to help, theres is way but we are working on it- you need to have pacient and trust us- Emma steps a bit closer, hoping that Elsa can connect with her**

**-Trust?- You are lying again!- you are not my friend, you are liar!- Stay away!- I wanna go home!- You ... she is so angry and she loses control of her magic and throws a ice ball to Emma...**

**-Nooo!- Killian yells, running, pushing Emma aside and getting the hit himself...**

**-Killian!- Nooo!- she goes to him, he is now lying in the grown- what have you done?- Killian... she feels tears in her eyes, she is so scared, he has to be okay.**

**You gonna be okay, you gonna be okay- not sure if she is telling him or trying to tell herself**

**-Emma, its okay- i have to protect you, to save you- he feels cold and tired and weak**

**-Emm**a looks around, her parents looking at her so sad and Regina, Robin, Marian, Belle, Ruby, Tink, Rumple all of them around them... she looks at them expecting someone to tell her that he is going to be okay, thats just ice...but no one say nothing, actually they all seems to give her condolences already with their eyes, and she looks at Elsa...

-Emma, im so sorry... I didnt mean to , i didnt want to hurt you or him.- Elsa is almost crying and Emma just cries to looks down at her person...while she is holding his head in her lap...

- Its okay, Elsa- Snow tells her- we know- she goes to her trying to confort her before she hurts someone else

- Killian, please... you need to be ok, i cant lose you... i dont want to...-tears keep falling, some of his face

-Emma, its okay-im fine, you need to be okay, for Henry for your family...

- Dont you dare to say goodbye to me, you are not going anymore, you are not leaving me, i wont let you... She cries harder, she wants to believe that so much, that she can stop him from leaving- Im sorry, Killian- Im so sorry!... Im sorry that you had to get hurt for me to realize that i was being such coward, for me to finally stop fighting my feelings for you... I, I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU, KILLIAN, pleaseee. You can not leave me, i want to show you, i need you to let me love you.

-Emma, love...I know, i know what you feel, i always knew even if you didnt say it... Its okay you dont have to regret a thing. You made me happy, you brought me back to life, nothing hurts more than the idea of leaving-because of you- i dont want to leave you- but dont worry,love . I will always be with you, I will always come back to you...

-Stop!- stop talking like you are already dea- gone... you are not going anywhere!- she cries and cries, this is nightmare-

You saved me, not just now... i said that only i save myself, i lied- you saved me, Killian Jones- you believed in me , you brought me home... you saved me from myself, i cant... i cant do this without you... pleaseee

-Emma, you are strong, be strong for me, pleaseee

-I cant, i dont want to- i dont want to be here if you are not- pleaseee hold on, we gonna find a way, theres always a in me, like you always did, believe in us, Killian- as i do... I love you!

- I love you too Emma, we will find a way, maybe not what we want but its okay, you gonna be okay... You are the best thing that ever happened to me, stay with that, please and with all my love.

He closes his eyes, he feels so tired... he cant help it but let go.

-No, Killian! NO!- Please, come back to me!- I need you to come back to me!- you cant leave me, not you! I cant do this without you!- please, please- she is sobing and shaking him while she is on her knees whole him in her lap- everyone around is tearing as well- even Rumple feels sad about this-

-Emma, honey- Snow touches her shoulder and Charming is coming to her as well

-No! I wont let him go!- i need him back! Please bring him back!- she looks at her parents, she is so broken, she cant breath-she is dead as well

-Please...-tears keep falling, she is touching his face, his heart, he is cold- she looks around asking everyone- Regina, Rumple to help her, to save him, to save her...

- I can do this- Im, im the savior... thats my job,right? Saving, im gonna save him, i NEED to save him... Gold, Regina what do i do, tell me what to do!- she feels so sad, and worse because this is the first time she believes fully in herself, in her magic, he would be so proud. Oh god! If he could see her!

-Im sorry, dearie- theres nothing you can do, im affraid-Rumple tells her

-Im the savior! I have magic, i have white magic!- white magic can undo dark magic, right? Just tell me what do to do!- pleaseee , Regina?

- You are right, but Elsa´s magic isnt dark, she just doesnt control herself that why i locked her up.

-Then use your magic, i ow you anything, i will pay any price...Pleaseee save him!- she cries again, something is telling her that they wont help

-Emma, thats not the way-Killian wouldnt want for you to use dark magic, sweetheart- David tells her, almost crying as well, it breaks his heart seeing his child like this, and he knows she will never be the same... and he knows he will miss him to, he will always miss him, he was a heroe, he was family.

-I dont care! Dont you understand!- Dad, I love him!- I dont want to go on without him!

-Emma...

-No, if he doesnt come back, i will never stop running...im gonna run forever, because even if i will live for Henry my heart is frozen with his...she cries and looks at him, her beautiful pirate, her lover, her friend, her partner...in everything. She hates magic, she hates her walls, her past, she hates everything, she just wants him back-Killian, pleaseee. You can make me love you like this and then leave.. I, I...pleaseee

She puts her head in his heart, he is cold, he is so damn cold but she cant let him go... He is dead, he is not coming back, she knew this would happen, thats why she was so scared but now, she hates that she was, if she would have told him before, dammit-but she doesnt regret it, she will never regret meetting him, loving him...he saved her and he changed her life forever...

She closes her eyes, wishing the wolrd would stop in that moment, because she knows that moments later she will have to get up, to leave him there, go without him, without her heart... she will have to pretend that she is alive, go to her apartment and pretend that its home, but it will never be, because home is gone, with him- she will have to go to bed, pretending that she isnt wishing that she was the one who got the hit so she would have to lie there, where the made love, where everything felt perfect, where she have found happiness with him... she wishes she could stop time, because after him she will never love again


	3. Chapter 3- I love you, pirate

God, this was the hardest moment of her life, she remember the way she felt when she though Henry was gone as well-but then he came back and Killian wont –he is gone and never be back, she will never see his –oh so beautiful- smile, she will never hear his sexy voice, she will never feel his touch, she will never feel his lips touching hers, kissing everywhere he can, she will never hug him, hold him tight, cuddle after making love all night, because even if they didnt say i love you before today, they both knew it was not sex, it was so much more than that- she will never feel complete as when they were one, she will never again look forward for lazy morning, for endless Sundays when they were alone in bed, kissing, touching, eating, watching a movie, talking, laughting- she wishes they could had that, maybe if she would left to NY, and if she would ask to go with her, maybe they would had have all that and more... now she is empty, she feels nothing but pain...

-Killian, I love you- i wish i could promise you that i will be strong, that i will try to be happy, that i wont close up again, i wish i could tell you that i will embrace who im and my magic, i wish i could tell you that i will stay in home, but you kne- know my better than anyone else- and i cant, i cant do any of that, i cant let you go, i will never let you go... I will die trying to find a way, i promise you... You are the one, who truly loved me and i truly love back, i will always love you- you are my pirare, my heroe

Tears keep falling, she feels she cant cry anymore but tears keep coming

-Emma, i know how you feel right now but it will get better- Snow tell her

-You dont knw what it feels like! You didnt lose the one you love, you are together, you have him with you!- you saved each other, and i... i couldnt!-

-You have us and Henry and your bother, you are alone, sweetheart.

-I know that you are trying to help but dont- i need it right now, nothing will change what i feel, i will never feel again...

He is the love of my life and i will always love him, i will always need him, i will always miss him- Just go away i want to be alone with him-

They move back but dont leave yet, all of them are still around-

-Emma, if you truly love him, kiss him!- Elsa tells her and Emma just look at her with anger, she didnt mean it but she killed him

-I will stay here as long i can, i wont let you go-I love you, my pirate- my dashing captain- she smiles knowing that he loved calling himself that and would love to hear it from her- I- LOVE- YOU .she says softly and she leans to kiss him and she hopes that wherever he is now, he can feel it, he can feel her love, all of the love she feels for him and that he will take it in his heart because one day, they gonna meet again and they will be happy together- she closes her eyes, touching his lips and she just feels, feels all over again, their kiss in Neverland, the kiss with the past hook, when he came to NY to save her, when he helped her with Henry, their kiss after the time travel, their first date, their stolen kisses, passionate and tender, slow and fast and perfect, the first time the made love, and the second and 3 times after... his warm body against her, the love in his eyes, the way he called her name, the flirting, the stolen glances. And today, when he said i love you- oh god! What wouldnt she give to have all of it just once, one more time-I love you like i never love anybody before, like i never will love again- she though and then she feelt something, some sort wind and then... magic

He doesnt feel so cold anymore, she steps back a bit to look at him, his face is getting natural colour and his still close eyes start moving- and no, he is coming back?- she doesnt want to believe it if its not true but then she remember the way she let her fears control her in the past and she wont do that again, not with him-

-Killian... please, come back to me- she says softly while she caresses his face – she looks around to see her parents and the people almost smiling- I love you, you are my true love, she says and kisses him again

When she pulls aways he is finally moving and starting opening his eyes- It takes a while and he looks at her and smiles-

-I told you i will always come back to you, my love

She smiles and kisses him- You are back, you came back!

-For you, only for you, my princess


	4. Chapter 4- My True Love

**-You are back, you came back!**

**-For you, only for you, my princes**s- he says and she smiles at him, so relief that he is okay, he is with her

-**Dont you ever do something as stupid as you did again**!- she told him,hitting him lightly on his arm, trying to look mad-but how could she?

-**Its nice to have a warm welcome**- he responded, jokying

-**you scared the hell of me!-dont ever to that**!

He looked at her, smiling but didnt answer

-**Killian?**

-**Sorry, i cant promise that,Swan , you know i would give my life for you over and over**

-**I dont need you to give your life for me, I need you to LIVE for me!-**she told him with such love in her eyes,-he was so happy, god! He´d waited so long for her to be like this... fully open

-**That i can certanly do, love**

They look at each like everyone else in the world dont exist, just them but they know that its not real when someone coughs and they look around

-**Im so happy you are okay, Killian**- MM told him with a smile in her face... she has come to accep that Emma loves him but now after he was about to give his life for her (not that she didnt know before but seeing it) and seeing Emma after he was shortly gone- she would be a fool if she didnt want them together, true love or not.

-**So, it is Killian now. Your highness**- he teased

-**You are part of our family, mate- so, yeah...its Killian** – David feeling emotional that his bff is back and not going anywhere

-**Thank you, David**- he winked at him

-**So, i guess your parents aprove now, love**

She smiles and leans down on his ear... -**It would not stop me if they did not**

-**Killian im so sorry, i didnt mean to hurt you. Im so happy you okay now**- Elsa said with tears in her eyes

-**Its okay, i understand Elsa**- he told her dispite that he felt like he was hit by a car all over again

**-Emm...** – She looked at her but stop when she saw anger or hurt in her eyes

-**I dont wanna talk right now-** Emma looked at Killian, only wanting to focus on him., she caressed his face. She knew Elsa didnt mean it, but she did it, she killed him and just remembering how it felt not long ago ...to have him gone, forever –she couldnt help to angry with Elsa, she should have listened to her. They were ...true love but

-What if...what if it hadnt work? He would be gone...

**-i knew you were TL , thats why i told you to kiss him. Im sorry, i really am**

- **It is okay, love. Im okay, WE are okay, theres not need to make her feel bad... it was an accident and Elsa will listen and trust us now, right lass?**

-**Yeah, i promise**- she told him , looking at Emma knowing she would tell if she was saying the truth.

-**Okay**- thats all Emma said, looking at Killian again. **Does it hurt? Can you** **get up**

**-It does hurt like hell love, but it doesnt matter if you are by my side**

-**Well thats a good thing because im not taking my eyes off of you**

He smiled big- **I would dispair if you did, my love.**

With that David helped him to get in the car, Killian didnt want to go to the hospital but his princess managed to convice him. After it, Whale gave him some pills to kill the pain and told him he should stay in bed for a couple of days until he felt better- David helped Emma to talk him to her new apartment- Once he was in her bed, she gave her the pills and made some soup for him, she lie by his side on the bed, her head resting on his sholders, trying not to hurt him...playing her finger in his chest

-**I was so scared, like i never was before... I couldnt breath, the whole world stopped and nothing had sense anymore...not without you-** she tells him softly.

**-Lov-**

-**Im sorry, im so sorry...** she said crying again

-**What love, what do you sorry?**

**-I love you...** it felt so good to say it-**I love you, Killian**!- she looked into his eyes

-**And I love you, Emma. Theres nothing to be sorry about, Love**

-**Im sorry, i didnt say it back early- You know i felt it, i just... I tried so hard to not let you in, for so long... not just you, everyone for so long that i kept lying to myself, thinking that i could control my feelings... these deep feelings i have for you. God! Killian i´ve been in love with you for so long and im sorry that i fighted it out...**

-**What?-** she tells him with a little smile because he is just staring at her with a happy look

-**Nothing, its just... You said you are in love with me**

**-And? I already told you that I love you**

-**Aye but its feel so good to hear you say it**

**-I love you, Killian Jones!-Im in love with you!-I fell in love with you so long and i dont even know when, it was just there this feeling- touching her heart-maybe it was since the moment we met, maybe it was when i asked you about your tatoo and saw the hurt in your eyes, maybe it was when you saved Aurora´s heart, maybe it was when came back to help me save my son, maybe it was when i kissed you in Neverland but i was scared to let me acknowlege it, maybe it was when you had to say goodbye, maybe it was when you CAME BACK to save me, maybe it was when i saw that you were so good with Henry, maybe it was when i almost lost you and i didnt even care about my magic because i needed you back, maybe it was when you followed me to the past, you helped and came to rescue me form Regina or maybe it was when you helped me to get my magic back... Not, maybe i have love you even i before i met you... maybe life, god or whatever had give me only pain my hold life had planned for you to come to my life and save me... you save me everyday, Killian and i love you so much that even saying "i love you" seems so little and i just wanna keep saying, a million of times, everyday for the rest of my life, our lifes...**

There were tears falling from his eyes, he had waited for so long for this, god!- a whole year without her, waking up every morning knowing that he would never see her again, that she didnt know he existed... he was only a wrong, very wrong character from kid tales. He wanted to think she was okay, she was happy but his heart broke at the thought of her finding happiness with someone else, not needing him in her life as he nedded her in his; to come to see that she was with Walsh, that they werent true love and she wanted to keep running to NOW, having her here by his side professing her deep love- true love! God! This feels like flying.

-**Is this you actually believing in fate, Swan?- **he teased her

**-fate? I dont know. I believe in this... in us, in our love...i believe in you, Killian**

-**Today is the happiest day of my life, I love you Emma! Thank you for making his possible- I want to spend the rest of my life like this, with you... every single day**

-**Yeah?**

-**Yeah, i want to hold you, to kiss you, to make you smile, i want happy family moments with Henry, your parents and brother, i want calm moment at Grannys with the whole, I want to feel you, to touch, to show you how much i love everynight...I**

-**Only at night?-** she asked him with a smirk

-**Well, we can have passionate moments during day time too, love- just tell me when and where and i´ll be there- **he winked her

-she laught and leaned to kiss him- **always the pirate... always my heroe, my pirate**

FIN


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